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SATAN MUFFS A SECOND CHANCE One Sunday morning during the nine o'clock mass, the devil walked down the center aisle of the church. He announced he wanted to join this parish. The Pastor met him at the altar and this discussion took place: Fr. - Would you be willing to be baptized and confirmed? Satan - Yes sir, I sure would. Fr. - Will you go to mass every Sunday? Satan - I'll never miss one or even a holy day. Fr. - Will you use your weekly contribution envelope? Satan - Yes, I work five days a week, so I can eke out $3 a week or so. Fr. - Will you participate in the work of the Parish? Satan - Absolutely, I'll become an usher and even run the bingos and the bazaar Fr. - Well, you certainly seem to qualify for membership in this Parish. Satan - Thank you, I'll be very faithful. Fr. - Oh, by the way, of course you will bend your knee and proclaim Jesus Christ as Lord of Heaven and earth and of your life, and allow the Holy Spirit to lead and direct you in spiritual growth and the renewal of your mind. And you'll be a willing witness to anyone and everyone about the Glories and Mercies of God and about salvation through the merits of Jesus Christ crucified? Satan - Are you nuts? I just wanted to be able to say that I am a Catholic. I don't want to make Jesus Lord of my life. I like being my own boss and doing my own thing! And besides, what's all this nonsense about 'renewal of my mind'? Do you want me to get all confused by learning about God's Will and purpose, and then maybe have to change my way of life and then start living in the Peace of Christ? Well, anyhow, let me think about it. Maybe next year I'll need God, But don't call me ...........I'll call you.
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